| God only knows what I'd be without you |
[Apr. 14th, 2006|01:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  dirty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Even If You Don't - Ween | ] |
yesterday ended up being the first time my mother knew I slept at Terin's. although our slumber partys are more than a billion.
( Read more... ) |
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| the majority has suggested in-patient. i think they think im crazy. |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|04:42 am] |
i know you what your thinking. i know what your all fucking thinking. what time the clock just struck. no this isnt normal, no this isnt right. carly? a drug addict? didnt see that one coming. ha, but i did. and im doing this and its permanently in my brain. in my veins. everyone knows, once again. same as last year? cant fucking mind your own business? all of you. when i lay in my bed, remembering my day, only 2 images appear in my mind. one, of your evil faces staring at me. glaring. looking in my eyes with pure hatred. the second, white flashing lights. october 3rd is one of the worst days in my teenage years. good job carly, good fucking job. a new school and everyone has a sinful impression of you. although, are you all that oblivious to what people do now? i know for a fact you all have had some experience when you're lost in a totally different state of mind. im terrified of wednesday. i dont want it to come. you can point, laugh, stare, i dont fucking care anymore. it is nearly morning and ive been thinking about this over and over. replaying the day and whats left in my memory. call me crazy, call me insane, im not gonna fucking touch you, i wont go near you. every single one of you devil-like humans witnessed me write down everything that was racing through my mind. i couldnt keep up with myself, but i loved it. 35 pages worth of pure thoughts and whats really in my head. it all makes sense and i hope one of you mother fuckers can read it one day. what do you want me to do? get on my weak knees and beg for you acceptance? FUCK NO. you all live your life, ill live mine. you leave your souls, ill leave mine. my stomach is empty, my lips are pale, my eyes are lost and black, my hands and fingers are bony and skinny, it's pretty to me. dont be afraid though, im still human, you're only position in this game is to leave me the fuck alone. go tell this some other ugly and cold hearted people, so they can know more about me then they do about themselves. i dare you. i'll sit here and watch you. you didn't see me cry. i did on my own, my tears weren't even real though. you fucking low life people will NEVER see one single emotion exit my body. pray for the next time you see a fucking smile.
good morning. |
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| haha |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|12:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Another Day - Album Leaf | ] |
marijuana makes the world go round . |
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for__sure's journal